Freakshow Industries wants you to know you can’t preorder Dicksmasher

Dicksmasher, the upcoming 'weaponized distortion technology' from Freakshow Industries, can't be preordered and you'll have to 'wait 1000 years' or something. Also, sadly, Freakshow Industries seems not to be doing their usual Black Friday sale where they make everything more expensive. But we do have teasers.
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