Parents rage against new fee to keep their smart bassinets smart

But last month, that hand-me-down network was dealt a blow when Happiest Baby, the company that makes Snoo, began charging for access to some of the bassinet’s premium features — features that used to be available to Snoo users indefinitely, at no extra cost. Now, access to the app needed to lock in the bassinet’s rocking level, to track the baby’s sleep and to use the so-called weaning mode, among other features, will cost parents $20 a month.

The change has angered secondhand users and original buyers alike. On Reddit, the new subscription model has prompted review bombs, group brainstorms for collective action and detailed instructions for outraged parents seeking recourse. Some have taken to filing complaints with the Federal Trade Commission, Better Business Bureau and state-run consumer protection offices.
↫ Sandra E. Garcia and Rachel Sherman at The New York Times

My wife had our first baby a little over three years ago, and our second one a little over a year ago, and let me tell you – the amount of “smart” and “connected” stuff they sell targeted at babies and young parents is insane. The only “smart” thing we got was a camera that pipes sound to my phone and detects movement, and sends a notification to our phone so we can take a peek and see if everything’s alright. Our oldest has outgrown it, and our youngest doesn’t really need it, so it’s just being useless at the moment, fitted to the wall. It definitely improved our nights, though, since it made sure we would never have to get up for no reason.

Other than that, we are very analog.

I had heard of “smart” bassinets, but we didn’t think we needed one. That’s just our decision, though, and you can rightfully argue that using a camera and open microphone is not that different. All of these new “smart” tools are just that, tools, and can be useful and make your life just a little bit easier, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Being a parent of a newborn is hard enough as it is without outsiders judging you and pressuring you into doing things you don’t think are right, especially since you know your own newborn – and yourself – better than some random outsiders do.

The Snoo is one of the more popular smart bassinets, apparently, and at an entry price of 1700 dollars it’s bonkers expensive. The thing is, though, as a new parent you know a lot of the stuff you buy has a relatively limited shelf life – they grow so fast – so you kind of take into account that you’ll be selling some of the more expensive stuff down the line to recoup some of the costs. We have an insanely expensive stroller from a Norwegian brand, because it needed to be able to handle the Arctic climate and its endless snow, including specialised wheels and tires for trudging through the snow. The resale value of these is quite decent, so we know we’ll get a decent part of the initial cost back, especially since we take extremely good care of it.

And this is where the company that makes the Snoo, Happiest Baby, decided to screw over its customers. The company clearly realised the theoretical loss of revenue from the used market, and came up with this subscription model to lock in some of that theoretical revenue. However, since Happiest Baby always promised all of its features would work perpetually, this came as a huge shock to both buyers of used Snoo bassinets, as well as to parents intending to sell their Snoo, who now see their resale value plummet.

The reasoning behind the sudden subscription model given by the company is absolutely wild.

Harvey Karp, the founder and chief executive of Happiest Baby, defended the move as a business necessity. “We don’t have any dollar from the government, we don’t have a dollar from a university,” said Dr. Karp, a former pediatrician who created the Snoo after becoming frustrated with the lack of progress in reducing rates of sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS. “We have to sell products and bring in revenue to be able to get to this goal.”

That goal, according to Dr. Karp, is “that everyone will have access to this, and it will be paid for not by your friend, but it will be paid for by your corporation, the government or your insurance company,” the way breast pumps are often covered. He also pointed to Happiest Baby’s efforts to make the Snoo available “in the inner city and in rural areas.” For many parents, however, paying into that ideal is of little comfort to their bottom line.
↫ Sandra E. Garcia and Rachel Sherman at The New York Times

He’s basically stating that because he doesn’t get free money from the government, universities, customers’ employers, or insurance companies, he can’t make any profit off the Snoo products. He’s arguing that a $1700 bassinet with some sensors and chips is not a profitable product, which sounds absolutely like a flat-out lie to me. If he really can’t make a profit with such a price for such a product, there’s clearly something else wrong with the way the company is spending its money.

Anyone who has ever watched Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver knows just how many healthcare-related markets and businesses in the United States rely almost exclusively on government money through programs like Medicare and Medicaid, leading to an insane amount of scams and wasted money because there aren’t even remotely enough inspectors and related personnel to ensure such money is effectively spent, made worse by the fact such tasks are delegated to the states. This whole Snoo thing almost make me think Karp intended to profit off these often nebulous government money streams, but somehow failed to do so.

I feel for the parents, though. They bought a product that didn’t include a hint of a subscription or paywalled features, and now they have to deal with this nonsense during some of the most stressful times of their lives. Horrible.