Apple orders staff to back to work in office three days per week in bid to boost productivity

Apple has ordered staff back to the office a whole three days a week in an attempt to finally wind down COVID-era “remote work” in a bid to boost productivity.
Apple Park, Cupertino, California
Matthew Field for The Telegraph:

The technology giant told employees in the Silicon Valley area they will be expected to come in on Tuesdays and Thursdays and one extra day each week, starting on September 5.
The company first started trying to launch a so-called “hybrid” work model in June last year, but it has been beset by delays. At the time of the policy’s launch, staff claimed they were being “ignored” and the policy was driving people to quit.
“Without the inclusivity that flexibility brings, many of us feel we have to choose between either a combination of our families, our well-being, and being empowered to do our best work, or being part of Apple,” employees wrote.
Tim Cook, Apple’s chief executive, emailed staff this week to tell them about the change.
“Teams participating in the pilot will come to the office three days each week with Tuesday and Thursday as set days across the company, but now the third day you come in will be decided by your teams,” he said.
Mr Cook said the move would “enhance our ability to work flexibly, while preserving the in-person collaboration that is so essential to our culture”.

MacDailyNews Take: Apple employees’ suntans, home improvement projects, and TV binge-watching are all expected to take hits, but, hey, it’s still only three days per week and Apple’s helmed by spineless squishes – Tim Cook, Deidre O’Brien, etc. – who’ve historically proven to fold at the first peep of “outrage” from a handful of lazy malcontents over actually having to do some work, so hope remains for the endless paid vacation!
This is the perfect situation for Apple to cull the “B” and “C” player dreck with whom the company has become encrusted in recent years. We can think of one former Apple CEO who would take advantage of this golden opportunity to invite these wannabe layabouts to “Go pound sand.” — MacDailyNews, May 17, 2022
The fact is that the amount of “work” that will get done on the two stupidly remaining remote days will be pretty much nil. Therefore, Apple corporate employees have an implicit three-day workweek. Expect less to get done than in the pre-COVID panic days – it’s virtually guaranteed (pun intended) – until the labor market loosens and companies can once again begin requiring employees to put in a full workweek.
As we wrote back in April:

Puleeze. Can the crap.
The only people who complain of having to go into the office to actually work for three whole days are, to use the scientific parlance: lazy assholes.
So, Apple’s management should collectively grow a pair and promptly extend a parting cordiality to the “Apple Together” wannabe layabouts: Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

As we wrote over a year ago (!):

Employees who don’t want to return to work in person should pound sand either of their own volition or via pink slip…
Returning to offices in early September is already ridiculously late.
There are literally millions of qualified, talented, driven people who would gladly work five – gasp! – whole days a week in the office for Apple.
Get back to work or get lost.
Successful companies like Apple don’t run on layabouts who’ve already enjoyed a very lengthy year-plus extended vacation and who are now ruined.
If these employees don’t quickly wake and wise up, cut them loose, Apple. Swing the axe, don’t coddle them.

• I do not adopt softness towards others because I want to make them better. — Steve Jobs
• Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected. — Steve Jobs
• “A” players attract “A” players. “B” players attract “C” players. — Steve Jobs

See also:
• Elon Musk mocks Apple over yet another return-to-work delay – May 19, 2022
• Apple delays plan to have workers return to office three days a week – May 17, 2022
• Some Apple employees bristle as three-day office return looms – April 29, 2022
• 
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[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Fred Mertz” for the heads up.]
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